The story so far..

So im avoiding my essay and haven't updated in a while so thought id give it a go...
I hate essay deadlines just before Christmas
I hate having no money just before Christmas
I hate being so grumpy all the time
I hate it being so cold
I hate my job
I hate being a bitch to the nice guys just because of the dickheads that hurt me in the past
I hate not being able to tell anyone
I hate missing him and not being able to talk to him
I hate that I cant let go
I hate over thinking everything and stressing about it all
I hate not knowing whats going to happen
I hate not being in control of everything
I hate letting people down
I hate not knowing the answers

urgh
=[

hhmm long time no update! well...
-corfu was amazing, like seriosuly the best holiday ever and just what I needed. Sometimes its so nice just to get away from everything. So relaxing, we just sat by the pool most of the time and totally chilled out was awesome and I realy realy didnt want to come home!!
-back in plym now and not realy having much fun tbh! dan, ash and rich have all moved in so im living with three couples and let me tell you now it is NOT FUN!! I realy dont think ive ever felt this lonely. I know the girls are still here too but its not the same cause they all just go off with their boyfriends in the evenings and are at work all day so im on my own.And there all lovey dovey and stuff and I just want to be with like that someone sometimes. I cant remember the last time someone gave me a hug, thats all I want sometimes. Sounds silly but thats what I miss the most about not being with someone, just to have them there.
-Ive taken to just going into town and shopping cause I have nothing better to do in the day! which is ok cause it gets me out of the house (and I have lots of lovely new clothes!!) but not so good cause im spending loadsa my money! (its not so bad tho cause when I got back from corfu there was my lovely big cheque waiting for me from the solisitors!)
-I never thought I would say it but im actually looking foward to september when uni starts again and everyone else is back here and we can go back to being proper student bums and going out and getting drunk all the time haha roll on freshers week!!!

woop holiday time!!!
be back in 2 weeks, woop!!

I PASSED THIS YEAR AT UNI!! WOOP!! roll on next year!!

So, things here are good. Well there as good as there gonna get I reckon. Were all working in revs at the weekend but could all realy do with another job in the week for more money and just cause were bored realy! Theres no-one else around and we cant realy keep just going to town cause we end up spending money we dont have which is bad!! Ive applied for so many jobs its mad, just no-one seems to want me lol ah well! 13 days till sunny cofru!! :D cant wait!!

I gave blood today =] I feel good =]

Well things here have been going good =] Its been sunny, I have a job, rach came to see me for the weekend, shiv came to see me for a few days, and today the solicitors rang me about my compensation and I should be getting a nice cheque in the next 3 weeks (finally!!!)

Well im back in sunny england!! or not lol cyprus was ace, it was like 35 degrees everyday we were there! so nice and chilled out and i think its really what i needed to get away from plymouth and everyone and to clear my head and think things thru and all that. Im feeling a lot better about things now and looking foward to going back to plym with a clear mind and to have a fresh start over summer. Just need to get a job so i can stay there... hmmm!

Holiday tomoro =D cant wait to get away from everything and just chill and not have to worry about anything for a whole week. Sun, sea, sand and fit greek men...bring it on!

So the first guy I pull since spliting up with Rich turns out to be Joe, oh the irony. Im not sure if I just wanted someone there or if I still like joe or what realy. I know I still miss rich and stuff but a part of me will always have a soft spot for joe. Weve got so much history an stuff, maybe thats the problem. Who knows. The whole time I just keep thinking about how muche hurt me before, funny thing is I dont think he realises that he did and it still didnt stop me getting with him. Hhhhmmm...
I could do with a hug realy

Yesterday was ace, lots of sun, stunting and football on the hoe, and a bbq on the beach. Love it =]

woop woop I am free for the summer!! :D had my last exam this morning and went straight to the pub with Becky and Ellis afterwards! yes I was drinking a pitcher of cheeky V at 20 past 11 this morning, I love being a student haha so now I have nothing to do and no money and im a bit bored already haha but its only 2 weeks till I go on holiday with Zoe woop!! I need to get away from here for a bit and chill, gona be ace!!

So ive decided that crying myself to sleep everynight for nearly a week is not something I enjoy realy. I really do need to stop over thinking things but its hard when everything reminds me of him. Ive gone thru the depressed and feeling sorry for myself stage and that didnt realy get me anywhere and now im in the angry stage. I doubt this will get me anywhere either but hey! Im angry at him for stringing me along, angry at the fact he wasnt even willing to try the long distance thing and angry at the fact that he is such a hypocrit. But most of all im angry at myself for letting it get this far and for allowing myself to think that it would be different this time, cause I realy thought it was, that he was, that I was.
Im trying to look on the brightside, the girls have been great. Saying all the right things, making me feel better an slagging him off and stuff! But I can help feel left out again, once again im the only one in the house without a bf and I dont think they realise how much they talk about boyfriends and sex and stuff. Not that its a bad thing, I just wish I could join in.
Anyhoo,last exam is tomoro and I realy dont know very much for it but I realy dont care anymore! I just want it out the way so I can get on and enjoy my summer and forget about twat face, as I have so afectionatly re-named rich
haha

Ok you know the last post where I said things are gona be crap soon? Well things are crap now, very crap in fact. Rich ended it last night. He said he couldnt handle us being long distance and it was better just to finish it now and all this other crap and stuff. So ye I cried myself to sleep and feel prety shit about everything right now. I realy thought that he was gonna be different and that we were actualy going somewhere, how wrong can I be?

Hmmm exam tomoro, I think I know enough. Ah well, I cant be bothered anymore.
Ive just realised how crap things are gonna be soon. My last exam is on the 9th of may but Richs isnt till the 19th. I havnt seen him for a week cause hes been revising and everything, which is cool with me. I totally understand, he is in his 3rd yr so he has to do good and they are 100% exam so theres a lot riding on him doing well. Anyhoo, im going home on probs the 21st or 22nd of may cause im going on holiday for the week on the 24th and I can get a lift with lauren to save my train fare. But Rich is moving out of his house on the 28th may, so hes not gonna be in plymouth when I get back here =[ I plan on staying here for the summer, it makes sense seeing as im paying for my house (although I need a job, minor detail atm lol) and hes gonna be at his house in newbury, which is like 3 hours away =[ And hes gonna be working all week, and so will I hopefully so im only gonna get to see him at weekends realy. Its gonna be pants cause im used to seeing him nearly every day.
Stupid hormones making me all depressive and silly, grrrr.

Grrr revision
Grrr period pains
Grrr boyfriends
Just grrr

I hate exmas. End of! I have wrote 36 pages of revision notes over the last 2 days. And thats just for the exam I have on tuesday, now I just have to remember it all. Great.
Roll on the 9th may when they are all done and out the way and im free for the summer!!

+ back in plym, ace to see everyone
- got so much work to do and not a clue what im doing
+ me and rich are official :D at last lol
- hes gone home for the weekend lol
+ its been well nice an sunny the last few days
- its crap being indoors doing work when its nice outside!
+ i get my birthday surprise on thursday!
- exams =[ enough said

Apart from the work load and exams, things are pretty darn good and im pretty darn happy for once :D

woop its my birthday! i am old haha

Woah this week has been crazy, ive been all over the place! literally lol went to telford for the cheer weekend, it was immense, we were immense! on saturday we got 1st, two 2nds an a 3rd! and on sunday we got 2nd, 4th, 5th an 7th! so 8 trophys ove 2 days! woop! go blaze!!!
Monday Rich came to mine =] was weird him being in my hosue but it was nice! He stayed over and then we went to his house on tuesday an I stayed over there then came home on weds. But I didnt actualy come home, jus met zoe in bham and got back on the trian an went to sheffield for westlife!! it was amazing, id forgotten how much i <3 them lol sad I know but I dont care haha! We stayed over at zoes house on weds night an then came back to bham last night but I went over to lauras house cause I havnt seen her in ages and stayed there! We had a gossip and a bottle of wine so it was all good =]
I really feel like I need to sleep for about 3days in a row to catch up on my lack of sleep from this week! Im not gona get a lie in for ages tho cause im going bday prezzie shopping with mum tomoro, its my birthday on sunday, ive got work I need to do on monday and then im going back to plym on tuesday at stupid o clock in the morning! and then im on placement weds and thurs!! roll on next fri when I have nothing to do and can spend the whole day in bed haha x